The Rat Who Tried to Save America

A late-night encounter with a talking rodent turns into an unforgettable lesson about freedom, despair, and the cages we don’t see

Photo by Denis Oliveira on Unsplash

Walking down an alley last night, I saw a moving shadow from the corner of my eyes and let out a yelp.

“Pardon me, Ms. Teheux,” a quiet, rather high-pitched voice said. I looked around and saw a large gray rat step out from behind a garbage bin, a pizza crust clutched in one of his paws.

Was this rat really talking to me?

Could I be dreaming? I pinched myself. Nope.

“I suppose you’re surprised to hear me speak,” the rat said. “Not all of us can. Some of us choose not to. But I’ve heard you and your husband discussing politics many times as you’ve walked your dogs down this alley, and I finally realized you badly need my help. I’ve just been waiting for you to come by without your dogs.”

“Um, thanks, Mr. Rat,” I said. I had a little wine with dinner but not that much, I don’t think. Maybe it was the rye bread I had. Didn’t contaminated rye cause people to go on a sort of acid trip in the Middle Ages? Whatever is happening, I’m going to just go with it.

“It’s Mr. Camus to you, please. Albert Camus. Named for the guy who wrote about us, of course,” he said. His whiskers dropped. “You know, Ms. Teheux, I didn’t call you Ms. Human. I had thought you’d have better manners.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Camus. Please forgive me.”

Yes, I’m apologizing to a rat for my poor manners

“Accepted. Now, let’s get on with it. You’re always talking about all the problems your country has. All the drugs and crime. All the poverty. All the greed. All the mental illness. All the school shootings. All the deaths of despair. It does seem like you Americans have lost your way, doesn’t it?”

“It does. Yes.”

“Ms. Teheux, have you ever read about something called Rat Park?”

“Rat Park. Um, yeah. That’s the one where researchers found out that rats only overdose on opioids when they’re kept in awful conditions. The rats they put in Rat Park had enjoyable lives so they weren’t interested in drugs even though they could have them if they wanted. Right?”

“Just so,” Mr. Camus replied. He sighed. “It was a pity when they tore down the old Carnegie Library where my family had lived for generations. That new place they built lacks the old building’s beauty, as well as its broken foundation with numerous comfortable entrances we depended on. I so miss reading science journals. I’m lucky now to get to read a discarded paperback. Everyone has gone to ebooks, you know.”

I didn’t mention that my old house has a wonky foundation and lots of books. I didn’t want to insult him, but I had no plans to invite him and his family into my home, either.

“So what about Rat Park, Mr. Camus?”

He sighed again

“I should think it would be obvious. I’ve heard you play the audio version of your columns for your husband so many times. I really thought you would immediately make the connection.”

He began speaking very slowly, like you do to a child who isn’t getting it.

“Your country used to be like Rat Park. You had open spaces. Freedom of movement. You could interact with others freely. Good food was abundant. It was easy to nurture your young. But now, you’re all in cages.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Camus. I’m not in a cage.”

He sighed yet again. I notice he sighs a lot.

“You’re wrong. Americans are more caged up than any animal. You just don’t realize it. You have very little freedom. Tell me, Ms. Teheux. What do employers do when their employees decide to sleep in if they are tired? Or what if they would like to take a month off to enjoy their lives? They’d be fired, right? So they have to deny themselves simple freedoms, because if they lose their job they lose their home and their food and their healthcare and everything else.

“Your entire society has been turned into a giant cage. Nobody is happy. Unhappy people are much like unhappy rats. They abuse drugs. They fight each other. They don’t get along with others. They feel lonely. They kill themselves. They kill others. They don’t take good care of their pups, er, children.”

“So what’s your solution?” The rat is making some good points, actually.

“Leave your cages! Turn your whole society into Rat Park! You know, I’ve talked to some very interesting rats from Europe. They sneaked in on a shipment of Gouda. Wonderful guys from Hamsterdam and Ratterdam. The humans where they’re from live in something pretty close to Rat Park. They have good food. They get lots of time off work. They have good healthcare — that’s the one thing Europeans have that rats don’t. If I had to be a human being, I think I’d like to live in Europe. But if I have to keep living in the U.S., I think I’m much better off as a rat. The Gouda guys got right on another ship back to Ratterdam.”

“You mean Rotterdam.”

“We call it Ratterdam, thank you.” His eyes glinted, and I took a step back. He began to seem a bit less friendly.

“Nobody in your country is happy. None of you is free. I thought you all knew you were living in cages, but it’s worse than I thought. You actually think you’re free! No wonder you can’t figure out how to break out of your cages. No wonder so many of you can’t get through the day without a drink or a drug. No wonder so many of you don’t want to settle down and have a few litters. No wonder so many of you smoke and overeat. And no wonder there are so many crazy gun people out shooting up other people’s young. The first step to getting out of your cage is to realize you’re in one.”

“I’m not in a cage, Rat.” I was done being nice to someone who keeps insulting me like I’m an idiot.

He ignored me

“My cousin Ernest was in a cage once. A kid caught him when he was still mostly pink and popped him in a big wire cage with cedar shavings, fresh water, plenty of good food and a nice little wheel to run on. I tell you, it was a nightmare. He was just about insane by the time he made his escape. It took a while, but he’s all right now. He and his mate just had nine pups last week. He’d die before he let anybody put him in another cage. Even a nice one. Ernest knew when he was in a cage. You don’t even see your cage.”

“I can go wherever I want, Rat! I’m a free person! As long as I don’t break any laws, I’m not locked up. As long as I keep working hard, I can keep a place to live and food to eat. So what if sometimes I get tired and sad … I have a few drinks and then I feel better. You’re just stupid vermin living on the dirty streets. You don’t know anything!”

I looked down. The rat was gone. Maybe he’d never been there. I probably imagined the whole thing.

Yep, I probably shouldn’t have had all that wine

But I’d felt pretty sad about the state of the world, and you know how it is. A little booze kind of smooths the rough edges sometimes.

But a talking rat? That’s crazy, man.

About Michelle Teheux

I’m a writer in central Illinois. If you like my work, subscribe to me here and on Medium. I also have a new Substack aimed at authors who want to self-publish books, called The Indie Author. My most recent book is Strapped: Fighting for the soul of the American working class. My most recent novel is The Trailer Park Rules. If you prefer to give a one-time tip, I accept Ko-fi.

All wealthy families are alike; each poor family is poor in its own way.
— Leo Tolstoy, if he had written about a trailer park

For residents of the Loire Mobile Home Park, surviving means understanding which rules to follow and which to break. Each has landed in the trailer park for wildly different reasons.

Jonesy is a failed journalist with one dream left. Angel is the kind of irresponsible single mother society just shakes its head about, and her daughter Maya is the kid everybody overlooks. Jimmy and Janiece Jackson wanted to be the first in their families to achieve the American dream, but all the positive attitude in the world can’t solve their predicament. Darren is a disabled man trying to enjoy his life despite a dark past. Kaitlin is a former stripper with a sugar daddy, while Shirley is an older lady who has come down in the world and lives in denial. Nancy runs the park like a tyrant but finds out when a larger corporation takes over that she’s not different from the residents.

When the new owners jack up the lot rent, the lives of everyone in the park shift dramatically and in some cases tragically.

Welcome to the Loire Mobile Home Park! Please observe all rules.

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