“The US has Women.” I grew up in a privileged society where women did not work. I knew two mothers who did and found it fascinating. Mountain Brook, Alabama had married women who volunteered.
I began getting my imprinted societal status as a Candy Striper. I was opposed to this volunteer system for older women who had to ask their husbands for money, that is, unless they were also born to a bit of wealth. Inevitably, that ran out after becoming a mother of a gaggle of children. I swore to myself I would complete my education and never be put in a position of having to have money doled out to me with an accounting for each dollar.
My grandfather was a banker, his bank in a tiny South Georgia town of Camilla and also a State Senator. Looking at my grandmother’s check book, he kept seeing GOK for purchases. He finally asked, “Margaret, what is this GOK you keep purchasing multiple times?” She replied, “With 7 children, God Only Knows.”
I'm sure you know, Michelle, but didn't mention (cut for brevity?) women taking care of family in the upward direction — the kids (in their 40s and 50s) taking care of parents. My wife spent most of the last two years of her mother's life living in Mom's guest room. We have no kids, while her siblings do; plus Mom's place was a ten-minute drive from where Deb worked then (and where I worked then — sometimes I would get a call at work to come to help Mom, because "I hate to bother Debbie at work all the time").
Women (*always* the women) taking care of elders is yet another "free" benefit American society counts on, whether it realizes that or not. And it's only getting worse as the people who provide professional assistance get shipped out of the country.
Ignore the hateful & ignorant comment below. Assisted living in the US costs a minimum of $4000-$5000/month, & the care is often minimal at best, with severely underpaid staff.
You’re exactly right: This country is making bank off the backs of women’s free (or underpaid) caregiving in all directions. It’s a travesty.
If you do not have any children but want them, that is your fault. If it is too much for you to take care of an elder, then you need to put the elder in an assisted living facility, they may actually take care of her better than you can.
We don't have any children and most explicitly did not want them, Elena, so there's that.
Mom did *NOT* want to go into assisted living. She (and we) could only afford an efficiency apartment in a care unit, and that would have meant giving up her stuff, including most of the things that reminded her of Dad. My wife and I had no problem taking care of her, it was worth it.
Interesting (considering the theme of Michelle's series) that you blithely say, "you need to put the elder in an assisted living facility," as if of course everyone just has the cash available to make that happen. Hmmm?
I misunderstood you, I thought you were having a problem taking care of your mother and so that is why I made the suggestion. Sorry for the misunderstanding. If you do not want children that is your decision, I misunderstood that as well. My sister does not have any children, that is her choice as well, though she does enjoy being with her nieces and nephews. There are ways to get government assistance for your elders if funds are a problem, however you would have to get the advise of an expert, I just know people who have gotten assistance with taking care of their elders but I do not know the specifics of the situation. Your mother is lucky to have you to take care of her situation.
“The US has Women.” I grew up in a privileged society where women did not work. I knew two mothers who did and found it fascinating. Mountain Brook, Alabama had married women who volunteered.
I began getting my imprinted societal status as a Candy Striper. I was opposed to this volunteer system for older women who had to ask their husbands for money, that is, unless they were also born to a bit of wealth. Inevitably, that ran out after becoming a mother of a gaggle of children. I swore to myself I would complete my education and never be put in a position of having to have money doled out to me with an accounting for each dollar.
My grandfather was a banker, his bank in a tiny South Georgia town of Camilla and also a State Senator. Looking at my grandmother’s check book, he kept seeing GOK for purchases. He finally asked, “Margaret, what is this GOK you keep purchasing multiple times?” She replied, “With 7 children, God Only Knows.”
I'm sure you know, Michelle, but didn't mention (cut for brevity?) women taking care of family in the upward direction — the kids (in their 40s and 50s) taking care of parents. My wife spent most of the last two years of her mother's life living in Mom's guest room. We have no kids, while her siblings do; plus Mom's place was a ten-minute drive from where Deb worked then (and where I worked then — sometimes I would get a call at work to come to help Mom, because "I hate to bother Debbie at work all the time").
Women (*always* the women) taking care of elders is yet another "free" benefit American society counts on, whether it realizes that or not. And it's only getting worse as the people who provide professional assistance get shipped out of the country.
Ignore the hateful & ignorant comment below. Assisted living in the US costs a minimum of $4000-$5000/month, & the care is often minimal at best, with severely underpaid staff.
You’re exactly right: This country is making bank off the backs of women’s free (or underpaid) caregiving in all directions. It’s a travesty.
The last couple of people I’ve known of in nursing homes paid $10k per month.
Thanks, ADT! 💚
If you do not have any children but want them, that is your fault. If it is too much for you to take care of an elder, then you need to put the elder in an assisted living facility, they may actually take care of her better than you can.
We don't have any children and most explicitly did not want them, Elena, so there's that.
Mom did *NOT* want to go into assisted living. She (and we) could only afford an efficiency apartment in a care unit, and that would have meant giving up her stuff, including most of the things that reminded her of Dad. My wife and I had no problem taking care of her, it was worth it.
Interesting (considering the theme of Michelle's series) that you blithely say, "you need to put the elder in an assisted living facility," as if of course everyone just has the cash available to make that happen. Hmmm?
I misunderstood you, I thought you were having a problem taking care of your mother and so that is why I made the suggestion. Sorry for the misunderstanding. If you do not want children that is your decision, I misunderstood that as well. My sister does not have any children, that is her choice as well, though she does enjoy being with her nieces and nephews. There are ways to get government assistance for your elders if funds are a problem, however you would have to get the advise of an expert, I just know people who have gotten assistance with taking care of their elders but I do not know the specifics of the situation. Your mother is lucky to have you to take care of her situation.
"That initial $225,000 starts to sound less attractive when you figure you’re really working the equivalent of 1.7 jobs."
That line made my head hurt. Only 1/8 of a million dollars a year? Poor babies, how will they survive? These days EVERYBODY works at least 1.7 jobs.