Two Ivy League grads. One was born into wealth. The other had a chance to marry into it but didn’t. Guess who struggles now? Part 6 of Poverty and Privilege
My marriage proposal wasn’t very romantic, but was perhaps wiser than I realized. After 3 1/2 weeks of dating, while eating at a pizza restaurant, I said, “We should look for reasons not to get married.” Over the next five weeks, we did just that, talking through a lot of things and testing whether we could drive four hours without running out of things to talk about. We missed some issues that caused arguments later, but at least we’d covered topics beyond romance. Only then did we tell our families that we were going to get married. We’ve made it 38 years so far.
I'm incredibly lucky. My husband takes care of the house (and the cooking!) while also working as a writer (he has three new books out this year). I think what I do for a living is incredibly easy, but I've always been a good manager.
Proposals for both my marriages were not surprises. Except in the particular moment. My first wife asked me in the middle of a department store while we were shopping; I asked Deb while my father was shooting family pics in the backyard. But in both cases, we had discussed what sort of marriage we wanted and how it would work. And the sort of partner who would do that was exactly what each of us wanted.
My marriage proposal wasn’t very romantic, but was perhaps wiser than I realized. After 3 1/2 weeks of dating, while eating at a pizza restaurant, I said, “We should look for reasons not to get married.” Over the next five weeks, we did just that, talking through a lot of things and testing whether we could drive four hours without running out of things to talk about. We missed some issues that caused arguments later, but at least we’d covered topics beyond romance. Only then did we tell our families that we were going to get married. We’ve made it 38 years so far.
I'm incredibly lucky. My husband takes care of the house (and the cooking!) while also working as a writer (he has three new books out this year). I think what I do for a living is incredibly easy, but I've always been a good manager.
I’m impressed!
Proposals for both my marriages were not surprises. Except in the particular moment. My first wife asked me in the middle of a department store while we were shopping; I asked Deb while my father was shooting family pics in the backyard. But in both cases, we had discussed what sort of marriage we wanted and how it would work. And the sort of partner who would do that was exactly what each of us wanted.