Thank you, thank you, thank you, Michelle, for this wonderful essay.
I'm one of the people you describe. I have a degree from the London School of Economics, am a board-certified nutritionist, speak three languages fluently, and work as a nutritionist specializing in cancer and metabolic syndrom. You would think that I have all the prerequisites for a decent income. And yet, I can barely eke a living.
At 58, I can't afford to rent a modest two bedroom apartment in my admittedly very expensive town (Boulder, Colorado), can't afford health insurance, drive a 17-year-old write-off, can't afford to take vacations or travel, have canceled all subscriptions (sorry, I would love to support your Substack, but it's just not in my budget), can't afford a gym membership, and will probably have to work until my last breath because I have no retirement savings.
Why am I in this pitiful condition? Because I made the reckless decision to take 12 years out of my professional life to raise three amazing humans and got divorced from my emotionally and financially abusive husband, leaving me with no property, no savings, and a big hole where my social security contributions should have been.
Until recently I was seeing a psychotherapist (I had to stop because I could no longer afford it), and during pretty much every session I would ask an exasperation, "What is WRONG with me? Why does everyone else seem to make a comfortable living except for me?" Turns out, "everyone else" is a mythical creature. So many of us older, single women in America are struggling to keep our heads above water.
I can't wait to read your book. Hopefully my library will stock it.
Thank you again for your wonderful Substack -- I love every post!
I would love to shout your story from the rooftops! This is a real problem. I do not regret staying home with my kids for seven years, but I admit I had no inkling whatsoever that my first marriage would end and what that would do to me later. I was working in newspapers, so you can guess how that ended. Only the fact that I remarried (not to a big earner by any means) allows me to write. I’d otherwise have to take a job at Target or something — if I could even get such a job, because they’d likely tell me I was overqualified. I eke out a living through writing but I wouldn’t have health insurance if I were single. There are so many women like you out there! It’s not right! We should have credit for those years we were raising the next generation, and we should not have to just hope we manage to find a good man to marry the second time around.
Thank you, Michelle. How can we get all these older women living under precarious circumstances together? I suspect a lot of us are hiding, steeped in shame, because we think we're "losers." Took me years to give myself credit for being creative and resilient in the face of fairly crushing odds.
One of the things I have been considering is creating an app where women can get together to jointly rent houses or apartments to help them keep up with these crazy housing costs. If I could share my rent with one other person, that would free up $1,000 a month that I could spend on healthcare, restorative time off, or some other life necessity.
Unfortunately, many people are not drawn to the idea of co-housing or house-sharing because of all the individualistic white-picket-fence BS we've been fed for decades. But if we get desperate enough, sharing an apartment might not feel so bad, especially when compared to -- oh, I don't know, sleeping in your Subaru? (Which I saw a middle-aged woman in my neighborhood do for several weeks this summer.)
What a fantastic post and fabulous new book cover and title. I bet Americans all over will see themselves in your pages. I wish someone would write the Canadian version, I'd love to see how/if we differ all that much.
Coincidentally, I have a rough draft I may or may not publish about the myth that you can start an online business for zero dollars. This talk about bootstrapping reminded me to go revisit it and possibly finish writing it.
You can pull the boots up but not yourself. I mean those straps may be sturdy, but how much weight could they really handle before they shredded or split?
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Michelle, for this wonderful essay.
I'm one of the people you describe. I have a degree from the London School of Economics, am a board-certified nutritionist, speak three languages fluently, and work as a nutritionist specializing in cancer and metabolic syndrom. You would think that I have all the prerequisites for a decent income. And yet, I can barely eke a living.
At 58, I can't afford to rent a modest two bedroom apartment in my admittedly very expensive town (Boulder, Colorado), can't afford health insurance, drive a 17-year-old write-off, can't afford to take vacations or travel, have canceled all subscriptions (sorry, I would love to support your Substack, but it's just not in my budget), can't afford a gym membership, and will probably have to work until my last breath because I have no retirement savings.
Why am I in this pitiful condition? Because I made the reckless decision to take 12 years out of my professional life to raise three amazing humans and got divorced from my emotionally and financially abusive husband, leaving me with no property, no savings, and a big hole where my social security contributions should have been.
Until recently I was seeing a psychotherapist (I had to stop because I could no longer afford it), and during pretty much every session I would ask an exasperation, "What is WRONG with me? Why does everyone else seem to make a comfortable living except for me?" Turns out, "everyone else" is a mythical creature. So many of us older, single women in America are struggling to keep our heads above water.
I can't wait to read your book. Hopefully my library will stock it.
Thank you again for your wonderful Substack -- I love every post!
I would love to shout your story from the rooftops! This is a real problem. I do not regret staying home with my kids for seven years, but I admit I had no inkling whatsoever that my first marriage would end and what that would do to me later. I was working in newspapers, so you can guess how that ended. Only the fact that I remarried (not to a big earner by any means) allows me to write. I’d otherwise have to take a job at Target or something — if I could even get such a job, because they’d likely tell me I was overqualified. I eke out a living through writing but I wouldn’t have health insurance if I were single. There are so many women like you out there! It’s not right! We should have credit for those years we were raising the next generation, and we should not have to just hope we manage to find a good man to marry the second time around.
Thank you, Michelle. How can we get all these older women living under precarious circumstances together? I suspect a lot of us are hiding, steeped in shame, because we think we're "losers." Took me years to give myself credit for being creative and resilient in the face of fairly crushing odds.
One of the things I have been considering is creating an app where women can get together to jointly rent houses or apartments to help them keep up with these crazy housing costs. If I could share my rent with one other person, that would free up $1,000 a month that I could spend on healthcare, restorative time off, or some other life necessity.
Unfortunately, many people are not drawn to the idea of co-housing or house-sharing because of all the individualistic white-picket-fence BS we've been fed for decades. But if we get desperate enough, sharing an apartment might not feel so bad, especially when compared to -- oh, I don't know, sleeping in your Subaru? (Which I saw a middle-aged woman in my neighborhood do for several weeks this summer.)
Looking forward to your new book!
Thank you!
Great read!
Thank you!
What a fantastic post and fabulous new book cover and title. I bet Americans all over will see themselves in your pages. I wish someone would write the Canadian version, I'd love to see how/if we differ all that much.
Coincidentally, I have a rough draft I may or may not publish about the myth that you can start an online business for zero dollars. This talk about bootstrapping reminded me to go revisit it and possibly finish writing it.
Whether or not you are able to pull yourself up by bootstraps is a moot point if you’re too poor to own boots
You can pull the boots up but not yourself. I mean those straps may be sturdy, but how much weight could they really handle before they shredded or split?