I can relate to that. My divorce cost well over $60K because my ex stalled intentionally, trying to bankrupt me. I had to sell the house. Half went to him, the other half went to the lawyers. You know what the real tragedy is? The real tragedy is that a small number of people (like you) care how borked the system is. But too many people shake their heads and blame the people who get caught in the system and look at us like we just made bad decisions. The western world is set up to favor the wealthy and it continues because apathy is our greatest problem.
Obviously you did not have a good attorney. If you are not an attorney or you do not have a friend who is an attorney is it hard to figure out which ones are good and which ones are bad.
I am really enjoying the Poverty and Privilege series. Finances are such a personal issue and everyone's financial picture is so different, but the thread running through everything is SAFETY NET. Who has one? Who doesn't? And WHY?
I abhor blaming individuals instead of blaming the system, a system which is 100% designed to disenfranchise as many people as possible and keep wealth concentrated in the hands of a few.
I'm really enjoying this series. It's interesting and thought-provoking. I had earlier wondered why Richard didn't pay off Lauren's credit card with a low interest loan to Lauren. I still wonder that but I am heartened to hear that he has paid for mortgage and appliances. Also very happy to see that he is learning from this experience!
Money in the short run does not change its value. However, inflation or deflation can always effect the value of money in the long run. A far as generational wealth, I always remember this song: Mother may have it, Father may have it, BUT GOD BLESS THE CHILD WHO HAS HIS OWN!!! Learn a bankable skill so you do not have to rely on your parents for money. The other saying is: You can give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. However, if you TEACH A MAN HOW TO FISH, you feed him for his entire life!!
People who leave generational wealth to their kids don’t usually just dump the money and die. These people play with their money and teach their kids to do so as well. By “play” I don’t mean trips and shit. I mean real estate, investments, stocks (high risk) those without safety nets can’t begin to think about risking. Richard knows money—he grew up with it and is in little risk of running out of it. His parents taught him to fish: the difference is he fishes for fun. Not to survive.
Okay I respect that. BUT I DO NOT FISH FOR FUN. In that way I guess I am different than Richard. Money is a serious business for me, it is not fun. I know a lot of people who WERE RICH or came into money and blew it all because they did not appreciate the seriousness of the matter. I have tried to teach my children that money is a serious thing and must be dealt with seriously or you can lose it (as I myself lost all my money 20 years ago because I was not serious about it. It took me at least 10 years to get back into a position where I was financially comfortable, and I have a disabled son who when I was broke was only 10 years old, I was in trouble, I will never forget that).
Anyone who has “a couple of million” to spare before his/her life is actually affected—to whom $60k is “non eventful” is very likely “fishing for fun”.
I don’t fish for fun either. My husband won a 13 year class action against the state last year. You know what we did with our money after paying half in tax? Locked it the F up. No investments. No stocks. No bonds. No risky business. No real estate. We locked it right the F up.
I’m a first gen college student. He grew up on an apple farm. My daughter was accepted to Barnard, U Chicago, and Cal-Berkeley. We went with the in state public. Both my kids will graduate from college debt free.
We live in a 3 bed 1 bath. No master. We drive used cars.
We don’t play with our money. We won’t be retiring until our mid-70s. We fish to survive.
The problem with just locking up your money is that if we have inflation, which we seem to have had for the past 100 years than you money loses value every single day. I am not advising this, but if you instead buy gold and lock up the gold, at least the gold will appreciate with inflation not depreciate as it tends to do with just paper money. Maybe you have already done that, but you have to lock up something that is going to APPRECIATE NOT DEPRECIATE Or you will in fact be losing money even though you did not actually spend it on anything.
I’m not BUYING anything. We’re making plenty on the money we don’t spend. And we have great spending habits, great credit, and own a home that will continue to appreciate. It appreciated at twice the rate after the housing crisis in California.
Our concern is losing our money—not making more of it. With this nightmare in the WH I wouldn’t dream of investing in anything. We have plenty of equity in our California home. And we aren’t retiring.
If you have the luxury to worry about inflation you are not in a dire financial situation. My guess is you had some help along the way.
I put myself through parochial high school and college and grad school (well, grad school was free for me). I had no help from anyone. I saved 15% of my paychecks from age 15 on. I need no financial advice. We’re doing great. We made $55k in interest alone since the fall of 2024.
That money would likely have been lost in the market.
Of course anything locked up can be stolen. I PUT all my valuable jewlery in a safe deposit box at the Bank. My poor 80 year old mother had a robber actually enter her house (while she was there) and steal all her jewlery right in front of her. Fortunately he just ignored her and she was not hurt, he just took the jewlery.
Money locked up in a CD at higher interest rates cannot be “stolen”. Those amounts are insured—you just divide them up. We have four maximum balances locked up in CDs at four credit unions that are insured.
I know rich people who are lazy and inherited the money, but the parents were smart enough to draw up trusts that don’t allow for blow-outs and require prenups.
Most generational wealth is passed down with warning, requirements and plans. Trump’s kids and grandkids lose everything if they join the military—including the Peace Corp—and if they refuse to marry without prenups.
In my experience that comes with the territory of generational wealth.
Lottery winners blow their wad—not generational wealth inheritances. In my experience, anyway.
As you can probably guess, I make my own investments, I do not need to take the advise of others. When you take other people's advise it is not the same as taking your advise, now is it???
It's a fascinating read, Michelle, and I'm grateful that you are sharing it with us. "Richard" seems like an unusual person in that he is investing in another person, rather than just growing his riches for the sake of having more money. I learn so much from your writing!
I've been reading this series, but I keep wondering this same question...
Obviously Richard is very well off. Why doesn't he simply pay off (either all at once or over a short time) Laureen and her Mom's debts? That would give both women a chance to start over, while earning enough to keep from getting underwater again. He is her husband after all, so they are family. I would never let my wife have a huge debt hanging over her head. Makes me wonder how committed to the marriage he is and how much he really cares about her, in spite of using all the "right words" when talking about how she brings value to his life.
He is in no way related to Lauren or her mother. He’s been happily married to his wife for decades.
I’m wondering where you got the idea he’s married to one of them.
He doesn’t even live near them; they met in person a couple of times but they work together remotely.
He “met” Lauren via a social media post because she was asking for information about the proper apparel for her son at his new school. That’s in Part 1.
My bad. At some point I must have misread something and assumed they had met and married. Wow! That changes everything about how I've been reading this series. LOLOL
I can relate to that. My divorce cost well over $60K because my ex stalled intentionally, trying to bankrupt me. I had to sell the house. Half went to him, the other half went to the lawyers. You know what the real tragedy is? The real tragedy is that a small number of people (like you) care how borked the system is. But too many people shake their heads and blame the people who get caught in the system and look at us like we just made bad decisions. The western world is set up to favor the wealthy and it continues because apathy is our greatest problem.
We have been trained to always blame the individual, never the system.
Whatever you paid to be free from that man was worth it.
It sure was, that's a fact
Obviously you did not have a good attorney. If you are not an attorney or you do not have a friend who is an attorney is it hard to figure out which ones are good and which ones are bad.
I am really enjoying the Poverty and Privilege series. Finances are such a personal issue and everyone's financial picture is so different, but the thread running through everything is SAFETY NET. Who has one? Who doesn't? And WHY?
I abhor blaming individuals instead of blaming the system, a system which is 100% designed to disenfranchise as many people as possible and keep wealth concentrated in the hands of a few.
Thank you for reading!
I'm really enjoying this series. It's interesting and thought-provoking. I had earlier wondered why Richard didn't pay off Lauren's credit card with a low interest loan to Lauren. I still wonder that but I am heartened to hear that he has paid for mortgage and appliances. Also very happy to see that he is learning from this experience!
This is extraordinarily powerful.
Thank you so much for reading.
Money in the short run does not change its value. However, inflation or deflation can always effect the value of money in the long run. A far as generational wealth, I always remember this song: Mother may have it, Father may have it, BUT GOD BLESS THE CHILD WHO HAS HIS OWN!!! Learn a bankable skill so you do not have to rely on your parents for money. The other saying is: You can give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. However, if you TEACH A MAN HOW TO FISH, you feed him for his entire life!!
People who leave generational wealth to their kids don’t usually just dump the money and die. These people play with their money and teach their kids to do so as well. By “play” I don’t mean trips and shit. I mean real estate, investments, stocks (high risk) those without safety nets can’t begin to think about risking. Richard knows money—he grew up with it and is in little risk of running out of it. His parents taught him to fish: the difference is he fishes for fun. Not to survive.
Okay I respect that. BUT I DO NOT FISH FOR FUN. In that way I guess I am different than Richard. Money is a serious business for me, it is not fun. I know a lot of people who WERE RICH or came into money and blew it all because they did not appreciate the seriousness of the matter. I have tried to teach my children that money is a serious thing and must be dealt with seriously or you can lose it (as I myself lost all my money 20 years ago because I was not serious about it. It took me at least 10 years to get back into a position where I was financially comfortable, and I have a disabled son who when I was broke was only 10 years old, I was in trouble, I will never forget that).
If you want to keep your money you should NEVER JUST FISH FOR FUN, VERY BAD IDEA!
Anyone who has “a couple of million” to spare before his/her life is actually affected—to whom $60k is “non eventful” is very likely “fishing for fun”.
I don’t fish for fun either. My husband won a 13 year class action against the state last year. You know what we did with our money after paying half in tax? Locked it the F up. No investments. No stocks. No bonds. No risky business. No real estate. We locked it right the F up.
I’m a first gen college student. He grew up on an apple farm. My daughter was accepted to Barnard, U Chicago, and Cal-Berkeley. We went with the in state public. Both my kids will graduate from college debt free.
We live in a 3 bed 1 bath. No master. We drive used cars.
We don’t play with our money. We won’t be retiring until our mid-70s. We fish to survive.
The problem with just locking up your money is that if we have inflation, which we seem to have had for the past 100 years than you money loses value every single day. I am not advising this, but if you instead buy gold and lock up the gold, at least the gold will appreciate with inflation not depreciate as it tends to do with just paper money. Maybe you have already done that, but you have to lock up something that is going to APPRECIATE NOT DEPRECIATE Or you will in fact be losing money even though you did not actually spend it on anything.
I’m not BUYING anything. We’re making plenty on the money we don’t spend. And we have great spending habits, great credit, and own a home that will continue to appreciate. It appreciated at twice the rate after the housing crisis in California.
I’ve never been able to save much money, so will always need to work. The viral story I had on Medium last year relieved a lot of pressure, though.
Our concern is losing our money—not making more of it. With this nightmare in the WH I wouldn’t dream of investing in anything. We have plenty of equity in our California home. And we aren’t retiring.
If you have the luxury to worry about inflation you are not in a dire financial situation. My guess is you had some help along the way.
I put myself through parochial high school and college and grad school (well, grad school was free for me). I had no help from anyone. I saved 15% of my paychecks from age 15 on. I need no financial advice. We’re doing great. We made $55k in interest alone since the fall of 2024.
That money would likely have been lost in the market.
Of course anything locked up can be stolen. I PUT all my valuable jewlery in a safe deposit box at the Bank. My poor 80 year old mother had a robber actually enter her house (while she was there) and steal all her jewlery right in front of her. Fortunately he just ignored her and she was not hurt, he just took the jewlery.
Money locked up in a CD at higher interest rates cannot be “stolen”. Those amounts are insured—you just divide them up. We have four maximum balances locked up in CDs at four credit unions that are insured.
I know rich people who are lazy and inherited the money, but the parents were smart enough to draw up trusts that don’t allow for blow-outs and require prenups.
Most generational wealth is passed down with warning, requirements and plans. Trump’s kids and grandkids lose everything if they join the military—including the Peace Corp—and if they refuse to marry without prenups.
In my experience that comes with the territory of generational wealth.
Lottery winners blow their wad—not generational wealth inheritances. In my experience, anyway.
As you can probably guess, I make my own investments, I do not need to take the advise of others. When you take other people's advise it is not the same as taking your advise, now is it???
It's a fascinating read, Michelle, and I'm grateful that you are sharing it with us. "Richard" seems like an unusual person in that he is investing in another person, rather than just growing his riches for the sake of having more money. I learn so much from your writing!
This is a great series. Thank you for writing.
I've been reading this series, but I keep wondering this same question...
Obviously Richard is very well off. Why doesn't he simply pay off (either all at once or over a short time) Laureen and her Mom's debts? That would give both women a chance to start over, while earning enough to keep from getting underwater again. He is her husband after all, so they are family. I would never let my wife have a huge debt hanging over her head. Makes me wonder how committed to the marriage he is and how much he really cares about her, in spite of using all the "right words" when talking about how she brings value to his life.
He is in no way related to Lauren or her mother. He’s been happily married to his wife for decades.
I’m wondering where you got the idea he’s married to one of them.
He doesn’t even live near them; they met in person a couple of times but they work together remotely.
He “met” Lauren via a social media post because she was asking for information about the proper apparel for her son at his new school. That’s in Part 1.
My bad. At some point I must have misread something and assumed they had met and married. Wow! That changes everything about how I've been reading this series. LOLOL
Whew! Even tho I’m not using their real names, I don’t want to misrepresent!
Not your fault. I've probably watched too many Hallmark movies with that as the plot. LOLOL
I should probably delete my comment. I don't really need any more reminders that I can be an idiot. LMAO
You're good :)
That's what she said. LOLOL
This is a great series. All of your articles are so thought provoking. Thanks for your work.
Thank you for reading!