I think a hybrid plan would be what I would do. I would set aside some for your tooth, then I would put another bit aside in your retirement account. The rest I would use to travel to see your husband’s family. Life is so short and always uncertain. Security is important, but happiness is beyond price. Make your husband happy and take him to see his family. As to the family member you help, a little extra would be nice - even $500 more than normal would make a difference. You don’t have to give it all away.
Congrats on the success of that piece! Well deserved 👏 I love that you brought this discussion into the light. I’m not going to offer advice directly, because only you can know how to use money for yourself, but I’m so intrigued by this discussion and the options you laid out. It might spark a piece of my own… Isn’t it so interesting how a relatively small windfall can raise so many questions when you’re used to just eking by? There’s not enough to do everything, and you’ll never be satisfied that you did the *right* thing.
I think adding morality to the spend of a windfall is part of the issue we all have with deciding — beyond the reality that we need/want more than we can hope to obtain. You can’t guarantee what will be the best outcome, so no choice is immoral or bad. At worst it can be disappointing, and some of that is ‘grass is greener’ delusion. I hope you don’t but you could die in a freak accident in a year, in which case the dentistry and retirement savings would prove frivolous. You might visit Europe to holiday and see relatives... and have only a so-so time, possibly because you aren’t comfortable ‘wasting’ the money on yourself. You might buy the car and it becomes a money pit in a decade. If you take all that self-blame out of it, its what will make you happiest now and then managing regret for what you didn’t buy. Years ago I did a bit of freelance work for a US company and the Aussie dollar dropped so it came out about 3x more than I expected. I wanted SO much. I bought my first comfortable sofa and then spent $1000 on kitchen items I wanted and needed but could never quite justify... a couple of good frypans, a couple of good knives, mixing bowls, a stick blender, and things like an olive/cherry pitter. I felt so anxious making that decision because I bought them only because I wanted them, and I did not yet trust my instincts with money. A little over twenty years later I still enjoy those tools. I use them regularly and feel happy every time. So I guess that worked out. I can’t even remember what the other options to spend it on were. Good luck and trust your instincts.
I’ve struggled financially most of my life, but I spent FIFTY BUCKS on the most perfect Japanese cast iron omelet pan a few months ago. It delights me each time I used it, which is often.
We get so used to avoiding materialism... in the end I’ve worked out that kitchenware is tools and you’re really buying the experiences you’ll have with them.
Thanks Annabelle, as and when you have the opportunity, I highly recommend it. I only bought the things I knew I’d been wanting, or wanting to upgrade for ages. I understood why I wanted each item. I didn’t buy the latest gadget for the sake of having the latest, partly because I had a small kitchen with little storage.
Visit the friends in Europe. Then put the rest in retirement. You are NOT to old to continue investing in that part of your life's savings. And congratulations!
I agree! The point at which you can’t travel long distances will come quicker than you know it. Love is what matters most in life, so go see the family and friends in Holland - you may never get another chance.
My husband’s parents always said they’d visit the U.S. more often later (his aunt moved here after WW2) but then his mom was unable to travel. I’m urging him to go without me. It’ll save money if I stay home and we have an elderly dog with separation anxiety who wouldn’t survive my absence for two weeks. He needs to see his family!
Aug 3·edited Aug 3Liked by Untrickled by Michelle Teheux
You can’t imagine how much that would mean to his mother (well, you probably could)! I have a son who has lived in Japan for the past 22 years. I’ve been there twice. Now the trip is much too long and arduous for me. He and his daughter flew home last year when his father was dying. Cost him $9000 for economy! But we both said it was money well spent. I needed him, and he needed to see his father. No regrets for either of us.
Well, it is, but I think about the 125k doctorate degree, 2 separate state bar exams, and 20 years it took just to get to 65k. And yes, I do get comments mostly about my house and when I'm going to move (never!). In southwest IL, older as-is homes are usually under 100k. So I bought one in a working class, mixed race neighborhood. That is weird to my friends, family, co-workers, etc. that feel the professional class should live in McMansions I guess. But, why pay more than I can afford? I've lived in poverty as a child and single mom- I don't want to go back.
It's so interesting that you asked this question this very week because I, too, had a windfall. It's more than yours but I also have a mountain of debt since losing my job after my injury last year. So, sadly I'll be using it to pay off my biggest debt ($19,000+). The leftover few grand I'm too scared to indulge with so I'll just leave it sit for those "just in case" moments. I'll only feel safer once my human rights settlement comes in, whenever that may be 😐
You're right, it's a tough question to answer when you have multiple things you COULD use the money for. But for me, getting out from under a year's worth of misfortune feels the most important.
The rest of it was that my mother was tired of watching me get battered by life over the last 4 years. Since my son passed away in 2020 it’s been a steady stream of financial hit after hit (nobody is planning to pay for their child’s funeral during a pandemic)
It all came to a head when I lost my job in 2023.
So…she gave me a large chunk of my inheritance so that I could pay off accrued life debt and not start every single month at a deficit. It’s impossible to get out of if every dollar that comes in has to go out.
I love that you got your pool; you will have such fun with it! And for the rest, I hope you find things that will make you feel better every day. Only you can know whether that is getting your tooth fixed so you never have to worry about it again, or knowing your 401 is chunky and reliable, or having the memory of a splendid trip to your in-laws, or whatever. But everyday joy is a precious thing.
Everyday joy is indeed precious — I plan to write about this. I remarked to my husband the other day that I’d felt a “click” recently. It’s something I have felt each time my financial situation has gotten better or worse. When there’s not quite enough money, the undercurrent of worry never goes away. When there’s a bit more money available, the relief is dramatic! It’s much easier to feel hope and happiness when you know you’re OK financially. And you don’t have to be rich — you just have to know you’re doing OK.
I'm looking forward to reading what you write about it. Yes! Prioritize and put the windfall in percentages. As a financial advisor for 35 years, I commend you for your thought, care, and prudence. It's very sweet for you to send your husband by himself. Are you sure that is what you want rather than doing something with the two of you and the elderly, anxious canine? (Just asking.). I'm in favor of putting a good portion in your retirement. As you know, that will reduce your taxable income. Today the market pulled back. Add some today. Index funds. And dollar cost average. That is, if you choose to put in $5000, add $1000 a month for five months but take advantage of the current pullback. One thing I haven't heard you say, so this is rhetorical: What about allocating some to exploiting the popularity of the piece that was responsible for the windfall? How can you exploit that? You said that it generated more revenue than Trailer Park Rules. Can you parlay the article into something bigger/different? Put characters with a short story? I'm so happy for you. Congratulations.
This is a really valuable response. So don't put it all in on one day, but put it in a grand at a time or so? I never would have thought of that. Thank you!
I'd really like to reverse engineer the successful piece, but I don't know if that's possible. I joked to my husband that he has to provide me with much more information about Dutch sex :)
I feel so happy that you've had this unexpected bonus. They say everyone gets lucky every now and again. I'm glad its your turn. My answer is absolute. Go to Europe. Stay with your hubbies Dutch family but also go to Paris. That's what I did with a surprise windfall. Already over 65 I saw no point in banking it so that I'd end up paying someone else's bills,as seemed to be my duty most of my life. I was a bit ELVIS in that regard. Never occurred to me to question it. If you put it in the bank something dreadful and expensive will happen that you'll have to pay it all out on and you'll not have had any fun. As the worst money manager in the world you'd be best to ignore my advice. But I say - go to Paris. To Europe. Apply to stay in Europe,lol. All the smart Yanks have already.
Congrats! I gotta get writing more once my ear infection goes away. Maybe sprinkle the money in a bit of some of the things you mentioned? Like 10 percent to 20 of what you want to do the most, and then throw a little towards your car or your friend you’ve been helping, maybe put some in a high interest earning savings or CD? Chuck some away for emergencies, splurge on one night out at a hotel and restaurant with your husband. I dunno. I tend to mince any bonuses I get and only blew one bonus from a previous job on an electric acoustic guitar I play with for my mental health. Other than that I have holes to fill, so I throw dirt on a few, put some money away and do small splurges. But hey- making money as a writer is not for the cowardly- you should at least enjoy a bit of that!
Retirement account, absolutely. You’ll defer the taxes, and it will keep earning money. You could live another 40 years. The idea is to keep as much of that retirement money as possible earning during retirement.
You could also park it in a CD or high interest savings account for a year. Compound interest is the gift that keeps giving. You can get 5% these days.
My joke is my mother - who loved vegetables, walked every day of her adult life (urban kid using public transportation), smoked for three minutes in the 1960s and gave it up, had a drink on Christmas, New Year's Eve and St. Patrick's Day -- my mother dropped dead of a cerebral aneurysm when she was 54.
My father - who smoked three packs a day since he was 14 and was a living-on-the-street alcoholic for five years until he went sober -- lived until 72. The man had to regrow his liver. And outside of the CPD, was still active and happy until he died.
You probably have a family story like that. Save based on that.
I'm an attorney, full time, 20 yrs. of experience, and make around 65k/yr. Most of us lawyers aren't earning the big bucks. It's only the rainmakers anyone cares about. Sorry- I just have to do my part to stop the questions I get regarding my old car, house in a lower middle class neighborhood, etc.
To answer your question- save. I grew up poor and know income is fleeting. A disability, firing, lay off, spouse dying...your life changes in an instant. So, yes I'd save. (My student loans were paid off by the Biden administration due to my career in public service. My mortgage is cheaper than my electric bill. I do have savings, but my fear of returning to poverty would force me to save.)
Of course, to me $65K sounds AMAZING, but yes, I get that people always think lawyers are rolling in it and they aren’t necessarily. At one point, I thought about going to law school. I still think I would have enjoyed it, but it’s probably best that I didn’t. (There isn’t a law school near me, and I couldn’t relocate my family.) Are people really questioning you about the car you drive? Ugh! I can scarcely believe how expensive cars are now. It is completely insane that some people spend more on a car payment than I do on a house payment.
I have to say that quality of life comes first for me. Your body, and your daily environment, and some for that 401K for future quality of life is how I would play it. Fix that tooth. Get the reasonable pool if it brings you joy! (And/or fix the problematic bathroom). Tuck a little into retirement. Pass on a little something extra to the one you financially support. Do things that you will notice, that make a difference you can be grateful for and enjoy every day, things that make you feel good. Just my two cents
Wow Michelle that's amazing, well done. I've not heard of many people making that amount from one story in a long time. I'm sure whatever you spend it on, you'll make the most of every dollar. Congrats again!
I'd probably donate a chunk to my local abortion fund or some other similar group. My employer made a gift of the money I needed at 23 and it was a pain but it was nothing like what young women and girls are having to deal with now. I think everyone in Kentucky has to go to Illinois. Along with everyone from multiple other states. (If they need a surgical procedure or just need to see a doctor in person).
I think a hybrid plan would be what I would do. I would set aside some for your tooth, then I would put another bit aside in your retirement account. The rest I would use to travel to see your husband’s family. Life is so short and always uncertain. Security is important, but happiness is beyond price. Make your husband happy and take him to see his family. As to the family member you help, a little extra would be nice - even $500 more than normal would make a difference. You don’t have to give it all away.
☝🏻Winner winner chicken dinner!
Sounds like a great plan!
Congrats on the success of that piece! Well deserved 👏 I love that you brought this discussion into the light. I’m not going to offer advice directly, because only you can know how to use money for yourself, but I’m so intrigued by this discussion and the options you laid out. It might spark a piece of my own… Isn’t it so interesting how a relatively small windfall can raise so many questions when you’re used to just eking by? There’s not enough to do everything, and you’ll never be satisfied that you did the *right* thing.
Exactly. If you are just getting by, it’s hard to know the best use for a windfall. You can’t do everything and need to be careful not to risk it.
I think adding morality to the spend of a windfall is part of the issue we all have with deciding — beyond the reality that we need/want more than we can hope to obtain. You can’t guarantee what will be the best outcome, so no choice is immoral or bad. At worst it can be disappointing, and some of that is ‘grass is greener’ delusion. I hope you don’t but you could die in a freak accident in a year, in which case the dentistry and retirement savings would prove frivolous. You might visit Europe to holiday and see relatives... and have only a so-so time, possibly because you aren’t comfortable ‘wasting’ the money on yourself. You might buy the car and it becomes a money pit in a decade. If you take all that self-blame out of it, its what will make you happiest now and then managing regret for what you didn’t buy. Years ago I did a bit of freelance work for a US company and the Aussie dollar dropped so it came out about 3x more than I expected. I wanted SO much. I bought my first comfortable sofa and then spent $1000 on kitchen items I wanted and needed but could never quite justify... a couple of good frypans, a couple of good knives, mixing bowls, a stick blender, and things like an olive/cherry pitter. I felt so anxious making that decision because I bought them only because I wanted them, and I did not yet trust my instincts with money. A little over twenty years later I still enjoy those tools. I use them regularly and feel happy every time. So I guess that worked out. I can’t even remember what the other options to spend it on were. Good luck and trust your instincts.
Adding to this is my sister did die in an accident two years ago. She was 52. She never got to retire or do anything but work very hard.
Liking that you shared that, not that it happened. My twin died at 45, a sibling’s death definitely focusses the mind.
I’m sorry. Yes, it certainly does.
This is beautiful, Michelle. I’ll remember it — and buy the high-quality kitchenware.
I’ve struggled financially most of my life, but I spent FIFTY BUCKS on the most perfect Japanese cast iron omelet pan a few months ago. It delights me each time I used it, which is often.
We get so used to avoiding materialism... in the end I’ve worked out that kitchenware is tools and you’re really buying the experiences you’ll have with them.
Thanks Annabelle, as and when you have the opportunity, I highly recommend it. I only bought the things I knew I’d been wanting, or wanting to upgrade for ages. I understood why I wanted each item. I didn’t buy the latest gadget for the sake of having the latest, partly because I had a small kitchen with little storage.
Visit the friends in Europe. Then put the rest in retirement. You are NOT to old to continue investing in that part of your life's savings. And congratulations!
My husband is the youngest of eight siblings! Two of them visited us this spring and he was so thrilled, but it also made him really homesick.
I agree! The point at which you can’t travel long distances will come quicker than you know it. Love is what matters most in life, so go see the family and friends in Holland - you may never get another chance.
My husband’s parents always said they’d visit the U.S. more often later (his aunt moved here after WW2) but then his mom was unable to travel. I’m urging him to go without me. It’ll save money if I stay home and we have an elderly dog with separation anxiety who wouldn’t survive my absence for two weeks. He needs to see his family!
You can’t imagine how much that would mean to his mother (well, you probably could)! I have a son who has lived in Japan for the past 22 years. I’ve been there twice. Now the trip is much too long and arduous for me. He and his daughter flew home last year when his father was dying. Cost him $9000 for economy! But we both said it was money well spent. I needed him, and he needed to see his father. No regrets for either of us.
His parents passed away long ago (he’s 60 and he was his parents’ eighth child) but all his siblings, nieces, nephews etc would love to see him.
Well, it is, but I think about the 125k doctorate degree, 2 separate state bar exams, and 20 years it took just to get to 65k. And yes, I do get comments mostly about my house and when I'm going to move (never!). In southwest IL, older as-is homes are usually under 100k. So I bought one in a working class, mixed race neighborhood. That is weird to my friends, family, co-workers, etc. that feel the professional class should live in McMansions I guess. But, why pay more than I can afford? I've lived in poverty as a child and single mom- I don't want to go back.
I think for people like you and me, we’d have great difficulty buying a McMansion even if a few million fell into our laps.
I’m in central Illinois— similar home prices.
It's so interesting that you asked this question this very week because I, too, had a windfall. It's more than yours but I also have a mountain of debt since losing my job after my injury last year. So, sadly I'll be using it to pay off my biggest debt ($19,000+). The leftover few grand I'm too scared to indulge with so I'll just leave it sit for those "just in case" moments. I'll only feel safer once my human rights settlement comes in, whenever that may be 😐
You're right, it's a tough question to answer when you have multiple things you COULD use the money for. But for me, getting out from under a year's worth of misfortune feels the most important.
I hope you'll tell more of the story at some point, if you're comfortable doing so.
Which part of the story? My year from hell after losing my job or where the money came from?
All of it!
Well…..this is the post that explained the great annihilation of 2023. Half of it is now behind a paywall (sorry!) https://wildhoodwanted.substack.com/p/cleanse-your-life-with-unemployed-holy-water
The rest of it was that my mother was tired of watching me get battered by life over the last 4 years. Since my son passed away in 2020 it’s been a steady stream of financial hit after hit (nobody is planning to pay for their child’s funeral during a pandemic)
It all came to a head when I lost my job in 2023.
So…she gave me a large chunk of my inheritance so that I could pay off accrued life debt and not start every single month at a deficit. It’s impossible to get out of if every dollar that comes in has to go out.
That’s the cliff note version.
Hugs. Losing a child is tragic and losing a job on top is just a further shock.
I love that you got your pool; you will have such fun with it! And for the rest, I hope you find things that will make you feel better every day. Only you can know whether that is getting your tooth fixed so you never have to worry about it again, or knowing your 401 is chunky and reliable, or having the memory of a splendid trip to your in-laws, or whatever. But everyday joy is a precious thing.
Everyday joy is indeed precious — I plan to write about this. I remarked to my husband the other day that I’d felt a “click” recently. It’s something I have felt each time my financial situation has gotten better or worse. When there’s not quite enough money, the undercurrent of worry never goes away. When there’s a bit more money available, the relief is dramatic! It’s much easier to feel hope and happiness when you know you’re OK financially. And you don’t have to be rich — you just have to know you’re doing OK.
I'm looking forward to reading what you write about it. Yes! Prioritize and put the windfall in percentages. As a financial advisor for 35 years, I commend you for your thought, care, and prudence. It's very sweet for you to send your husband by himself. Are you sure that is what you want rather than doing something with the two of you and the elderly, anxious canine? (Just asking.). I'm in favor of putting a good portion in your retirement. As you know, that will reduce your taxable income. Today the market pulled back. Add some today. Index funds. And dollar cost average. That is, if you choose to put in $5000, add $1000 a month for five months but take advantage of the current pullback. One thing I haven't heard you say, so this is rhetorical: What about allocating some to exploiting the popularity of the piece that was responsible for the windfall? How can you exploit that? You said that it generated more revenue than Trailer Park Rules. Can you parlay the article into something bigger/different? Put characters with a short story? I'm so happy for you. Congratulations.
By the way, I've said it before, but I love TPR. Why not write a short story about the journalist's windfall? I wonder what he would do with it.
Jonesy? I think he'd put a down payment on a cheap house! Because Jonesy is me, and that's what I'd do in his place.
Yes!
This is a really valuable response. So don't put it all in on one day, but put it in a grand at a time or so? I never would have thought of that. Thank you!
I'd really like to reverse engineer the successful piece, but I don't know if that's possible. I joked to my husband that he has to provide me with much more information about Dutch sex :)
You’ve got this!!
Exactly!
I feel so happy that you've had this unexpected bonus. They say everyone gets lucky every now and again. I'm glad its your turn. My answer is absolute. Go to Europe. Stay with your hubbies Dutch family but also go to Paris. That's what I did with a surprise windfall. Already over 65 I saw no point in banking it so that I'd end up paying someone else's bills,as seemed to be my duty most of my life. I was a bit ELVIS in that regard. Never occurred to me to question it. If you put it in the bank something dreadful and expensive will happen that you'll have to pay it all out on and you'll not have had any fun. As the worst money manager in the world you'd be best to ignore my advice. But I say - go to Paris. To Europe. Apply to stay in Europe,lol. All the smart Yanks have already.
Congrats! I gotta get writing more once my ear infection goes away. Maybe sprinkle the money in a bit of some of the things you mentioned? Like 10 percent to 20 of what you want to do the most, and then throw a little towards your car or your friend you’ve been helping, maybe put some in a high interest earning savings or CD? Chuck some away for emergencies, splurge on one night out at a hotel and restaurant with your husband. I dunno. I tend to mince any bonuses I get and only blew one bonus from a previous job on an electric acoustic guitar I play with for my mental health. Other than that I have holes to fill, so I throw dirt on a few, put some money away and do small splurges. But hey- making money as a writer is not for the cowardly- you should at least enjoy a bit of that!
Retirement account, absolutely. You’ll defer the taxes, and it will keep earning money. You could live another 40 years. The idea is to keep as much of that retirement money as possible earning during retirement.
Definitely not living another 40 years! I’m 58 now!
You could also park it in a CD or high interest savings account for a year. Compound interest is the gift that keeps giving. You can get 5% these days.
My husband’s grandmother made it to 104.
I definitely won’t :)
Well, now you just cursed yourself.
😉
I'm highly pessimistic. I have to be! If my hopes were higher, I'd be feeling crushed all the time.
Do you have any health issues?
If not, we're all living longer.
My sister, mother and maternal grandmother all died young, which gives me pause. Others have lived quite long!
My joke is my mother - who loved vegetables, walked every day of her adult life (urban kid using public transportation), smoked for three minutes in the 1960s and gave it up, had a drink on Christmas, New Year's Eve and St. Patrick's Day -- my mother dropped dead of a cerebral aneurysm when she was 54.
My father - who smoked three packs a day since he was 14 and was a living-on-the-street alcoholic for five years until he went sober -- lived until 72. The man had to regrow his liver. And outside of the CPD, was still active and happy until he died.
You probably have a family story like that. Save based on that.
I'm not going to give you advise, because I have followed you for a while, and I know you're not going to spend it frivolously!
Fix your tooth, then stick the rest in the bank while you figure out what to do with it.
I'm an attorney, full time, 20 yrs. of experience, and make around 65k/yr. Most of us lawyers aren't earning the big bucks. It's only the rainmakers anyone cares about. Sorry- I just have to do my part to stop the questions I get regarding my old car, house in a lower middle class neighborhood, etc.
To answer your question- save. I grew up poor and know income is fleeting. A disability, firing, lay off, spouse dying...your life changes in an instant. So, yes I'd save. (My student loans were paid off by the Biden administration due to my career in public service. My mortgage is cheaper than my electric bill. I do have savings, but my fear of returning to poverty would force me to save.)
Of course, to me $65K sounds AMAZING, but yes, I get that people always think lawyers are rolling in it and they aren’t necessarily. At one point, I thought about going to law school. I still think I would have enjoyed it, but it’s probably best that I didn’t. (There isn’t a law school near me, and I couldn’t relocate my family.) Are people really questioning you about the car you drive? Ugh! I can scarcely believe how expensive cars are now. It is completely insane that some people spend more on a car payment than I do on a house payment.
I have to say that quality of life comes first for me. Your body, and your daily environment, and some for that 401K for future quality of life is how I would play it. Fix that tooth. Get the reasonable pool if it brings you joy! (And/or fix the problematic bathroom). Tuck a little into retirement. Pass on a little something extra to the one you financially support. Do things that you will notice, that make a difference you can be grateful for and enjoy every day, things that make you feel good. Just my two cents
Wow Michelle that's amazing, well done. I've not heard of many people making that amount from one story in a long time. I'm sure whatever you spend it on, you'll make the most of every dollar. Congrats again!
I consider it a one-time gift from the gods! Now off to write something about Dutch people, sex and coffee :)
I'd probably donate a chunk to my local abortion fund or some other similar group. My employer made a gift of the money I needed at 23 and it was a pain but it was nothing like what young women and girls are having to deal with now. I think everyone in Kentucky has to go to Illinois. Along with everyone from multiple other states. (If they need a surgical procedure or just need to see a doctor in person).
Save it for old age. I didn't and I know, now.